let. me. speak.

begin - with a bouncing ball falling off a stairwell descending into a pit of lava hell and it might as well since that's really all it's got to do there and we should just let the laws of physics work

well it bounced and fell and did it well but that's no end of story

let's go let's bounce let's pounce - oneachother and movin out and movin in let's fall into our lonely sin and bounce and bounce and bounce with it and shit did you just change the rhyme into thyme of time of times we left and times we've made and times we've settled, let's behave, so don't get fussy and don't get prattled and begin to begin to begin to begin.

that's right, to begin and change me within so I can on limb, a-hop a-hop and bounce and swell and bounce and swell and Listen up this one's from the back of the party comin to the front of your naughty hair tufts that's right it's all comin up to you now what you say what you say

said iron wing and i'm a man for better things so let's not stop to commiserate or procreate or uncreate this creation, develop, fall, develop, fall, develop, develop, develop, develop, envelop...

so they closed up shop and locked it up and pianos too? is this fucked up and give me something more to drink from air to air and do not blink

where the fuck's my piano when I need it, where the fuck's my piano when I need you? stop and that's dramatic; cock up your automatic, and drive.

---

I really need a piano. Or a microphone.

This is the stuff that I'd normally express on piano, and that's where it all comes together better. And right now, this French paper is NOT working out.

Je t'adore and I can't contain it

I really don't know what's going on.

J'ai une « dissertation » d'après Mme. Henein; un « devoir » selon Mme. Naginski. En fait, j'ai un problème. J'hésite trop à dire ce que je voudrais dire, je souffre d'un manque d'imagination, et je me trouve absolument fouetté par un amour que je ne sais pas comment poursuivre. Qu'est-ce que je dois faire ? je ne sais pas. Je travaille depuis quatre heures sans rien écrire d'utile pour ce « devoir », et le mec à qui appartient mon coeur s'assied là-bas, à peu près de l'imprimeur. Lui, c'est une meilleure distraction que les connasses qui détruit la paix en dehors de ma porte chaque soir. (Il paraît qu'ils finissent leur travail l'après-midi. Comment ????) C'est pourquoi je suis à la salle des ordinateurs au lieu de chez moi.

Alors, de toute façon, je me trouve ici, beaucoup de morceaux de papier, beaucoup de remarques, aucune idée qui peut former une bonne thèse. J'ai remarqué : oh, l'auteur a fait ça, il laisse des symboles pour nous mordre, il fait un rêve symbolique... mais il faut que je dise comment Hugo plaide la cause d'un condamné quelconque. Mon dieu, je ne peux rien lier.

Ah, attends ...! c'est un cauchemar au lieu d'un festival. Le festival, c'est ce qu'on appelle le guillotinage, à cet échafaud qu'imagine le condamné dans cette scène que j'analyse.

Et puis, tout de suite, je perds toute l'abilité de penser. JE M'ASSIEDS ICI DEPUIS QUATRE HEURES ET N'Y A-T-IL RIEN QUE JE PEUX EMPLOYER???

2007 is nowhere-land

Welcome to 2007. This number is divisible by 3, but that's something easily established. This is shaping up to be one of the most dry years on the planet. (There are dog years too!)

This is about as good as sleeplessness, the state of mind I'm in right now, where NOTHING COMES INTO MY HEAD but I can still put good shit out. Why?

I should've gone home this weekend and gained access to a karaoke machine, instead of spending 6 hours last night playing mah-jongg. That was fun, but it did shit for me. Now I have a French essay that I don't really frikkity-feel like doing and it's staring me right in the face. :( That image, rotated pi/2 to the left, represents an approximation via Oiler's Method of my face right now. I can't stare back.

I'm not ambivalent. I'm not apathetic. I'm not disgusted, I'm not passioned. What's going on??? I can't bring anything together!

This thing is in shambles. Maybe I woke up too early two days in a row. Well, there's nothing I can fucking do about that because of my painful, painful schedule. All I can do is listen to My Chemical Romance or something and be emo for a couple of seconds. Holy shit, 3:36 AM! Does that constitute an hour's break? That's my Constitution for the day. I couldn't make a better one for you.

Fear

The most powerful emotion is fear because we can be afraid of our other emotions.